Worse than Nuclear Fusion and Better than Immediate Death
by Kimyona Baka Deviyel
Summary: Ness is admitted to the Psychological Paradise, a place where being "happy" is just an illusion. In a place full of twisted patients, lies, and total insanity, Ness must find a way to survive this hellish heaven, and it looks like the only one he can find truth in is the Scorching, Troublesome Divine Flame herself.


Chapter 1: Settling

A red worn-out car parked in front of a large building. The building was a sickly pale yellow, and the windows were cracked. The lawn was green and flawed with brown patches. Flowers were wilted, and even with the windows closed, a rotten stench eased its way into the car. The young boy in the back scrunched his face is disgust before looking at his parents, his eyes sparkling with pleas.

"Now Ness," his mother said, "go on, get out. The place won't hurt you; it'll make you feel nice and dandy." His mother smiled, though Ness knew that smile was a lie. He had taken a quick glance at his father. He did not return the look, instead choosing to stare straight away. His voice was firm, though Ness swore he could've possibly heard a bit of joy and relief.

"Ness, you heard your mother. Stop wasting time." Ness nodded reluctantly. He opened the door, ignoring the creaks it made. He jumped out and took one look at the aging building. The stench became even stronger, and poor Ness felt like he was trapped under a pile of decaying corpses. He turned back around and retrieved two suitcases and placed them on the sidewalk. He then grabbed his baseball cap and placed it on his head, taming his wild black hair. Letting his parents know he had gotten everything, he waved goodbye.

"Bye Mom, bye Dad." He hoped for a smile or the words, "Come on back in the car, Ness; we were only joking with you. We would never leave you here." He hoped for those wondrous words to escape his mother's lipstick-chalked lips. It would've been a sick and cruel joke, but a huge sense of relief would be felt if it was.

The only reply was the door being slammed shut and dust accumulating in Ness's face as his parents sped off. Only the sounds of Ness sighing heavily and picking up his bags were left. He faced the building again before sighing once more and walking down the raggedy path. Patches of grass sprouted through the broken concrete. The surrounding area was completely quiet, something that Ness didn't necessarily enjoy. He felt alone, though that was a feeling he had been wanting for a very long time. It turned out to be not what Ness had quite expected, but the feeling quickly faded away as the black-haired boy approached the front door. The door was stark-white color with a sign on it. In medium-sized letters, it said:

"_Welcome to the Psychological Paradise!_

_Experience a pristine ebullient life!"_

Ness noted the vocabulary used for the sign. It seemed as someone has been looking in the thesaurus to make the place sound more blissful. It was obvious that the place didn't seem too nice at all—or at least on the outside it didn't seem too pleasant. There was no option to escape, since the next way back to civilization was five miles away. Nothing was here; the only thing that gave life here was the building itself, and the building wasn't much to look at. The despising of this place was evident in the young boy, and there wasn't anything he could do about as he reluctantly knocked on the door. Four short knocks was all it had taken before a welcoming call was heard.

"Hold the hell on! I'm comin' already, damnit!"

The voice belonged to a very annoyed-sounding woman. Ness could hear the loud footsteps and the high-pitched cursing. He wasn't fazed by any of it. He wasn't fazed when a brown-haired Hylian woman swung open the door and glared at him with the most horrid of eyes. It didn't bother him when the woman stated, "Great, another crazed kid. What's worse than psycho adults are psycho children."

He absolutely couldn't care less.

"Well?" the woman exclaimed, obviously having something better to do, "Are you just gonna stand the hell there or are you comin' inside? Hurry up! It's freezin' out here!"

Ness would have begged to differ, since it was a nice 60 degrees on this wondrous day, but this woman standing tall and furious before him seemed like she could kill him at any second. Though Ness would have probably like to die at this moment and time, he came to conclusion that he would most likely regret in the afterlife. Besides, if someone were to end his life, he prayed it wouldn't be this woman.

"Won't come in willingly? Fine, ya little idiotic failure!" The woman grabbed Ness by his shirt collar and started dragging him inside. There was no struggle, no screaming, and no begging. Just the scraping of his suitcases, loud curses, and faint screaming from some of the many rooms this place held. Ness didn't know where he was being taken, but he knew he did not want to be here. The long hallway he was be dragged down felt constricted and horrible, even worse than what he usually felt, if that's even possible.

The boy eventually saw light, though at this point, he wished it the light you see once you pass safely away. No, sadly it was not, for this light belonged to an office painted a sickly green color. What inhabited the room was four moss-green colored chairs, a painting featuring only the color orange, and a desk with a with a girl wearing a shrine maiden outfit organizing papers on it. She looked up and smiled hugely.

"Well, well, well!" she said happily, something Ness did not expect nor want. "You are the new member of our precious family! My name is Reimu Hakurei, the owner of the Psychological Paradise! I'm also a shrine maiden part-time, but I really like the outfit, so that's why I'm wearing the outfit, in case you were wondering, haha!" She shuffled through some papers before looking up again, saying, "Yes, yes; your name is Ness! Hey, that rhymed!"

Reimu smiled another huge smile; Ness rolled his eyes, not understanding how someone could be so happy. It didn't seemed possible, but then again, _nothing_ really seemed possible to Ness anymore.

Reimu stood up and walked to Ness, holding out her hand. Ness stood still and looked at the hand, refusing to shake her hand. Instead he looked away, not for an escape, but as an attempt to adjust to his new surroundings. It is hard to adapt to such a bland environment that you don't like, but for poor Ness, he had to like it…or at least _pretend _to like it.

"Ah, you are a non-social person?" Reimu grabbed his hand his shook it forcefully. "Don't worry, we'll change all that. Soon you'll turn from an introvert to an extrovert!" The happy-go-lucky laughter the young woman produced irritated Ness. It was so forced that Ness could precisely hear the tired tone behind it. He came to the conclusion that this woman wasn't what she seemed—a conclusion that will soon be proven correct.

Though he didn't have to, Ness kept up appearances by laughing along. He, however, did not mask his obvious depression. The laugh was mechanical-sounding, the result of trying to be polite. He hoped that Reimu found the laugh to be cheery, though he knew that he didn't even try.

Of course, the young maiden saw his façade, but she decided to leave it alone. She would happily torment him later, once the boy had pretended to feel better.

They stared into each other's eyes with mock politeness. Both had a realization that would come to life eventually:

Both were amazingly formidable opponents.

"Ness, I believe it's time for Zelda to show you your room," Reimu said as she let go of the boy's hand. She flashed a smile full of dishonesty and masked pleasure. "Have an excellent time."

Ness grabbed his bags and nodded. "I hope your time is excellent as well, Miss Reimu. I wish a very good day." He allowed Zelda to grab by the collar and drag him out, his eyes focused on the shrine maiden's smile. Both could say that at this very moment, a strong respect was created. In matter of fact, if time had allowed it, they would verbally acknowledge it.

Though that does not mean the respect was that of a civil one.

* * *

"You see how all of the rooms have numbers of them, stupid?" Zelda asked, waving her hand around the long hallway. The doors were an evergreen color with patches of gray splattered about. Occasionally, a door was open, and he would see the pleading eyes of the residents. Some sat in the corner, flashing shining eyes pleading for help; others yelled continuously, kicking at whatever they could reach. Many were too drugged out to pay attention. Ness wondered how they felt right now. He wondered if they could even _feel _right now.

He highly doubt it.

"Yo, stupid, did you hear me? Pay attention, because this is where you'll be staying!" Zelda let go of Ness, letting the boy fall to the ground. She tried to suppress a laugh, but watching the pathetic boy stumble to get up allowed her to laugh heartily. She opened the door, flashing a sadistic smirk as Ness's purple eyes widened.

Ness wasn't fazed by the disgusting smirk, but by the inhabitants of the room.

"Here are your new roommates!" Zelda exclaimed, deliberately pushing him in with a bit too much force. Before stepping away, she cooed, "Enjoy your time here, you little bastard!"

Ness watched as Zelda, almost cheerily, walked away. Ness knew she was taking pleasure in his obvious misery, but he would not allowed that to bother him. For now, it was the meeting of these strangers that frightened him the most.

There were three beds, each having awfully dirty sheets. On one bed—the one conveniently closest to the wall—was a boy who rocked back and forth, apparently chewing on a neon blue blanket. He had blue eyes that looked at everything but Ness. What Ness found unusual was that the boy was wearing a parka. The room was hot, despite it being fairly cool in the rest of the building, and personally, Ness was sweating. However, the boy shivered as if he was freezing. Deciding that the awkwardness was too much to handle, Ness slightly waved and said, "Um…hi…"

There was no reply.

"His name is Popo," a voice said. "He doesn't speak often. It seems like you don't either."

Ness looked to the other side of the room. He tilted his head at the sight of a girl with wings. Yes, large black wings. He figured that abnormalities would be here—while being ruthlessly dragged, he saw a girl with cat ears and a red dress repeatedly screaming, "Please Ran, help me! Help me!"—but he never thought he would see something like _her. _Purple eyes stared at the wings before moving to the congealed matter on her right foot, then noticing the second-important feature: the arm cannon. All of the features seemed impossible and unbelievable to have, but he knew to expect peculiar people and events in this distorted place.

Eventually, he knew he would have to enter the room. The chance to escape was diminished, for he even if he tried, he wouldn't know exactly where to go. That, and there was the possibility of being seen by that Hylian woman, Zelda. He already knew the consequences; he just had to look at the patients.

"I suggest you don't stand there," the girl said. "Some of the patients have a tendency to leave their room. Trust me, you will startle them."

Ness took the advice, deeming that there might be a nearly sane person here. He walked to the middle of the room where his dilapidated bed awaited him. He placed his bags down, examining the sheets. The word "disgusting" couldn't correctly describe the condition of the sheets. He wondered if everyone's room was this poorly cared for. Perhaps they just don't care?

Wait, that's such a silly question; of course they don't care.

"What's ya name?" the bird-like girl asked.

Sitting on the bed, Ness quietly replied, "My name…is Ness."

The girl turned towards Ness and crossed his legs, her large wings knocking over a plastic vase. "Cool. My name is Utsuho Reiuji."

She smiled. Ness noted that it looked genuine, and that the words the followed it was true as well.

"Welcome to Hell."


End file.
